Copyright© 2011, A Father’s Love
Good morning Caleb,
I said to myself this morning that I was going to take a break from writing, but I cannot seem to do it. I am driven to set here and write to you every day. I can say that it does offer me some peace of mind once I finally do so. Why is that? The thought of it perplexes me. Anyhow you have me here so what shall we talk about today. I know. On Monday night sissy was at soccer practice and she received her first bloody nose. The kids were racing from one side of the field to the other. Sissy was in the lead, once she turned around to go the other way. BOOM! She ran into the kid that was behind her. Even though it was not a good thing for her, I believe that it toughened her up a little. I walked out on to the field and got her. We decided to take a walk back to the van to “shake it off.” Finally I managed to get her to give it another shot. We raced all the way back to the soccer field so that she would be pumped up to play again. Once she got back out on the field the coach was kicking the ball to another kid. Sissy timed it just right. BOOM! The soccer ball hit her in the face. Needless to say we left after that. We took sissy to get her some ice cream for doing such a good job. She had a tough day, she deserved it.
I remember the first time that sissy played soccer, you were just a little baby. We took you out on the field with us, you were strapped into your stroller. Turns out that was not a good idea because every time we went you were not having the whole “strapped in the stroller” idea. You wanted to run around. So I would take you out and we would play. I had to stay close by because you would try to go out on the field and play soccer with the bigger kids. You never did want to be a baby. Once you learned how to walk, you were a big kid. You wanted to do big kid stuff. I loved that about you. It makes me wonder what kind of big kid stuff you are doing in heaven. I bet you are God’s little helper, standing beside him waiting for the next big kid thing to do. Just remember son, that no matter what you are doing, you must do it the best that you can ok. I am going to close this letter for now and I will talk to you later ok. Have an awesome day in heaven and behave yourself.
I love you like a fat kid loves cake,
To my readers
Thank you for taking the time to stop by here and spend time with Caleb and I. I hope that I touched your heart in a way that will allow you to be at peace. Have an awesome day!
The Bible instructs that our God is a personal and loving God. It claims He is never less than loving and personal. We are also taught that He is a sovereign God. He is in complete control of His creation.
And yet, if we walk this road of life long enough, we will question these truths. We will face trials, suffering, and death and it will leave us asking… pleading for understanding from this personal and sovereign God. Where are you Lord? Where were you when this happened? If you had the ability to stop this, why didn’t you? How can I trust you when nothing makes any sense? All these and more questions plague our composure when tragedy strikes.
To further the depths of pain for the one, who is grieving, in most cases the only answer to “why,” is silence. We usually aren’t privileged with a detailed plan of God’s purposes.
C. S. Lewis confirms this truth with these words after the loss of his wife and his near departure from his sanity. “Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be – or so it feels—welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed into your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty house. Was it ever inhabited? It seemed so once. What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?” C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed.
In the eleventh chapter of John’s account of the Gospel, we learn something special of the man, Jesus, who walked this earth. We learn, just as the author of Hebrews stated (4:15); Jesus was really human, and He endured everything that we do. In verse thirty-five, we read, “Jesus wept.”
What leads to these two words is death. Jesus’ friend Lazarus has died. He is in his grave and is being mourned by family and friends.
For me, these are two of the most difficult words in our Bible to comprehend. Think about it. Jesus knew Lazarus was going to die before Lazarus knew that he would die. What’s more profound, though, is Jesus already knew He was going to bring Lazarus back from the dead. So why the words, “Jesus wept?”
Were His tears brought about by the knowledge of the sin of humanity, that ultimately is the cause of all death? Did He cry because of the unbelief in His midst? Maybe it was because Jesus knew what Lazarus would have to leave to come back to this earth.
Personally, I believe Jesus wept because of the pain and grief that surrounded Him. I believe His love was (and is) so great that He wept with those who were suffering. I think this passage displays the passion of our Lord and Savior for His people. It displays a passion that would take Him all the way to the cross of Calvary.
We still have pain. We still suffer, sometimes immensely. We cry out to God in despair. But we have hope (1 Peter 1:3). And we have peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Why? It is because we have Jesus, who wept and died for us.
What Lewis and others have learned, through the course of tragedy, is that God has provided for us the sufficient means to find peace and comfort, to find trust, to find Him in the midst of suffering and grief.
As his wife passed from this life, C. S. Lewis recalled her final words and actions. She said, “I am at peace with God.” Then Lewis remembered, “She smiled, but not at me.”
Poi si torno all’ eterna fontana
(Then unto the eternal fountain she turned. )
Good morning Caleb,
I have been waiting very patiently to sit here and write to you. I have missed you since Thursday morning. How in the heck are ya big boy? Daddy, mommy, bubby and sissy are doing just fine. We had a very eventful weekend. It all started on Saturday when mommy and I went to participate in the Zoo-Fari at the local zoo. I must say that was a really good time. We started out the evening with some cocktails. Next we received a zoo map and a clue book we were to use on our quest to figure out the various clues located around the zoo. The more clues we figured out the better chance we had to win the grand prize. We were only given a mere 90 minutes to do the whole thing, so needless to say we were practically running through the zoo. Once we finished that up we turned in our clue books with the answers. Then they served an awesome dinner after that. It was so good I ate way to much and the dessert was to die for. It was very nice because it was late in the evening the sun had fallen beyond the horizon. The only illumination was provided by a dull street lamp and candles. They drew the names for the prizes, mommy and I won a basket with some goodies, no it was not the grand prize but it was cool to win. The evening was finished up with an auction.
Sunday morning we had a company trip to go on. ”I will bet that you will never guess where we went to…how did you know?” ”You are right, Holiday World!” We arrived around 9:30 a.m. We walked around for a bit, then we were served lunch. The majority of the day was spent in the water park as it was a little warm outside yesterday. We did ride a roller coaster that shook us around really bad. It ended up popping my back in several places. It still hurts. It was around 6 p.m. when we left the park. We came home and got ready for bed. That was pretty much the end of it. The whole time we were at Holiday World we were thinking about all of the things that you would be doing. There was a time when I remember feeling really sad. Mommy and I were watching a performance by the park entertainment staff. A lady started to sing a song, she came off of the stage into the audience and picked up a little boy who was about your size. She started singing to him. For some reason I pictured that little boy as you. My eyes watered up. Suddenly I had a really warm feeling come over me, thank you for showering me with your love. When you do things like that I am very thankful to God for the wonderful gift he gave to me the day you were born. I love you bubby and I miss you very much. One day I will have my arms around you again, what a wonderful day that will be. Especially when all of us are together again, in a much less painful place. Have a good day in heaven son and we love you very much. Oh! grandma and grandpa said hi and they love you as well.
I love you like a fat kid loves cake,