Life seems so wrong right now. I feel as if I am a terrible parent. To have let happen to you what happened. Will you ever forgive me? Unless you show yourself to me and tell me that all is ok and that you still love me. I wish now that I would have spent more time with you. All of the times that you wanted to play with me and I just pushed you aside. All of the times that I yelled at you. Sometimes I set and wonder if this is a punishment from God. Is this his way of telling me that I did not deserve you? If I could just have one more chance God I promise I will do the very best I can for you. I really do not what more you want though. I loved my little Caleb very much. Whatever it is that you want from me God you just let me know. I am at your disposal. I just want you to promise me that you will never put me through this pain anymore. Caleb. I am going to go lay down to sleep right now and I will be thinking very dearly about you. Oh son what I wouldn’t give to see you right now. If you need me I will be right here.
I love you like a fat kid loves cake,