Still Confused

03 Jun

Good morning son,   I know, I know,   it has been a while since I last wrote to you.  But the important thing is that I am here now.  Mommy , sissy and I went out to see you last night.  We were going to take the flowers off but we decided to leave then there.  To me it almost felt as if I was taking something away from you.  They look really nice.  I really do not want to ever take them off.  We stayed out there for a little bit and shared some tears.  It is pretty apparent that we are all still hurting very  much inside.  The funny thing is that people seem to think that we should be over it.  Just that fast.  I am afraid that it does not work that way.  I will never be over this.  I still cannot understand why you are gone.  You were my everything, yes I was a little tough on you from time to time but it was all out of love.  You were so healthy.  I just cannot understand it.  I do not think that I ever will.

I have done something that will help me through this journey.  I had a special necklace made with your picture on it, underneath it says Daddy’s Angel.  I get to take you with me everywhere I go now.  It does not take the pain away though, it just dulls it out, adds a bit of positive to the whole messed up situation.  On a different note,   I bet you will never guess who we are going to go pick up tomorrow?  Give up?  it’s bubby.  I wonder how he is going to react when he realizes that you are gone.  I just know even though I told him already he is going to ask about you again.  That will be okay though.  I will just explain it to him all over again.  I plan on showing pictures of you to him.  I also plan on taking him to your final resting place.  I will help him through it as well.  Just like I am doing for mommy and sissy.  

I will be back here tonight to talk to you again son, even if it just to tell you good night.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake, 


Again I want to thank all of my readers.  I love each and every one of you. See you soon.


Posted by on June 3, 2011 in Letters to Caleb


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2 responses to “Still Confused

  1. Pingback: A Father's Love

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