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A Picture on the Wall

15 Jul

Good morning Caleb, 

 

I will tell you what.  It sure does seem like time is really starting to pick up its momentum again.  I cannot believe that it is already Friday.  Soon it will be time to take bubby back home and school will start-up again.  Sissy will be in kindergarten this year and bubby will be in second grade.  In another year or so you would have been starting preschool.  Your mother and I already had it planned out.  You were to attend the same preschool that sissy went to.  But that will not be necessary now.  All I am left with is the sheer imagination of what it would have been like.  That is really all I am left with.  Imagination.

 

I sure will be glad once today is over with.  I am ready to be through with work for the week.  Even though tomorrow is like one of the biggest days of my life I am still going to sleep in a little bit.  I was thinking about something.  In our bedroom there is a picture of you and mommy lying on the couch sleeping.  It is one of the most precious pictures that we have of you.  Every time that I look at that picture I cannot help but to think of you.  I get an empty feeling over me that I cannot seem to shake.  It really makes me miss you.  When looking at this picture, I get the sudden urge to hold you in my arms too.  If I could just hold one more time.  You see bubby there are little moments like this that haunt me all the time.  I will be doing just fine for a little while, then I will get this sudden feeling of loss.  It almost feels as if someone is reaching inside of me, trying to tear my heart out.  I have to fight for it back.  Once I get things back together again, I continue on with the rest of the day.  The only bad thing about it is that after it is all over with I feel completely drained.  It really does not take much for a great day to go sour.  I have accepted these feelings though.  They must be a normal part of grief, because I have never felt anything like this before in my life.  I wonder if mommy ever gets these feelings?  

 

     I love you like a fat kid loves cake, 

Daddy

 

To my readers

 

I really cannot express my gratitude for you stopping by here.  I love it when you come to visit and I hope that your stay here is a pleasant one.  I really do appreciate you reading my stories and helping me to carry on the name of my son Caleb.  I plan on doing this until the day that I take my walk with God.  I hope that you share that journey with me.  I would simply love it.  Thank you for being here.  I would really like to know how these stories touch you.  So if you could use the comment box below and don’t worry your email is safe.  I would never share it with anyone.  You can count on that.  Thank you….Jeffrey

 

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5 Comments

Posted by on July 15, 2011 in Letters to Caleb

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

5 responses to “A Picture on the Wall

  1. Susan

    July 15, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    What can I say but WOW! I have been reading your blogs. Your love and dedication to your son has truely touched my heart. Your blogs echo such beauty over such a terrible loss and I thank you for sharing this process with the world.
    Susan

     
    • jmisk70

      July 16, 2011 at 7:59 am

      Thank you Susan. It really means alot to me that my stories touch your heart. If you to have suffered a loss, I hope that you have found a new peace here at A Father’s Love. I enjoy having readers like you.

       
  2. SARA

    July 16, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    LISTEN U GUYS U ARE SOME WONDERFUL PEOPLE DO NOT FORGET THAT I LOVE U BOTH,I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE WHEN U THINK U NEED ME. JUST REMEBER MY ARMS ARE OPEN WIDE.

     

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