New times have risen for me and my family. The grass was only greener on the other side for just a little bit. I was just setting here wondering why it is that It seems why I am not allowed to have children. Is this supposed to be some sort of lesson that I am supposed to learn from the Lord. To bring a closer light on what I am talking about. The first child that was born to me has been stripped away from me by a child alienating parent that I cannot seem to get the court system to see the crap that is going on. The other child that was born to me was taken from me in a swimming pool accident. What the heck is going on here? The only thing that I can seem to do to make sense of all of this is to look up to the Lord for direction. Sometimes the answers that I am looking for do not come. Sometimes they do not come at all. Life sure has a funny way of doing things don’t it? Along with all of the animosity that is going on in our nations government this whole situation looks very blurry. The one fact that remains true is that the sky and the staircase to heaven are very clear to me. Please forgive me for ranting and raving, but it has been while since I have wrote my thoughts out. Consider this a social outpouring of my spirit.
The Lord has me locked in place. until I complete what it is he has set me out to do, I cannot proceed in my life. Sometimes it is tough for me because I have such huge dreams for my children and family. But God is gently nudging me along. It is almost as if I can see him standing there shaking his finger at me with his hands on his hips shaking his head. “Not until you finish this step in the process my young child.” In a sense it seems to be growing me as a person though as I weather through one storm into another. And people wonder why my hair is starting to turn whit at such a young age. Call it the wisdom of the Lord. I have become a better leader since all of this has taken place in my life.
I would have to say that the turning point in my life was when little Caleb passed away. It was a very tough time for my family and I but we are still standing strong together. We made it through the fire together, but this was only possible through the loving acts of the Lord and his good graces. Okay I have had enough of this ranting. I will put some more on here tomorrow so tune in.