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Thinking of You Again

Dear Caleb, Hey there little man.  How is heaven treating you?  I know, I know, it is silly of me to ask such a crazy question.  You are hanging out with God what can be more awesome than that?  As for us, mommy, your brothers and sister and I are all doing really well.  I have not checked in with you in while but that is because I figured you have a whole lot better things to do then to keep coming back down here to comfort me.  I was talking to a gentleman the other day about you and he gave me some really good insight on letting you go so that you could just enjoy your time in heaven.  I took heed of this advice, so we will see where it leads me. Last night we were at dinner with a friend, we shared your story with them.  Once again it got me thinking of you.  I showed them the picture of you staring up at God during the Easter party the year you died.  I realized then how much I truly still hurt inside because of you being gone.  There will always be a part of my heart that is dedicated to you, and these letters are an extension of my heart. One thing I can rest on though, I know one day I will be in heaven with you and I am gonna give you a super hug, you know like the ones we used to give each other.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake,

Daddy

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2015 in Letters to Caleb

 

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Deuteronomy 30:16 GNB

(16) “If you obey the commands of the Lord your God, which I give you today, if you love him, obey him, and keep all his laws, then you will prosper and become a nation of many people.  The Lord your God will bless you in the land that you are about to occupy.”

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2015 in Daily Inspiration

 

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Good Direction

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There will come a day in your grief when you think that you have finally overcome.  A day when you think that all is well.  A day when you think that you are finally rising through the ashes.  Only to find that you are simply having a great day in grief.  Embrace days like this and build on them.  The grass is truly greener on the other side.

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2015 in After the Ashes

 

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Hebrews 4:12 KJV

(12)”For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2015 in Daily Inspiration

 

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Psalms 5:11-12 NIV

(11)”But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy.  Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.”  (12)”Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

 
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Posted by on February 3, 2015 in Daily Inspiration

 

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I Saved Him!

In order for this story to make sense please read this post first.  About Caleb

So there I was….  Sleeping soundly in my bed last night.  I slipped off into dreamland.  I was taken back to the day that Caleb passed.  Everything was just as it was on that day.  I was in the yard fixing the bicycle tire.  For some reason I was able to complete the job all the way.  I had the tire pump and everything. I knew at that point this dream was taking on a different storyline,  which seemed kinda weird. Suddenly I heard a splash in the pool. My wife was standing on the pool deck yelling.  I raced up to see what was going on. She got out of the water she said that she could not find him. In a mad panic I jumped into the water, I felt something under my foot.  I realized that it was my little boy Caleb.  I reached down and grabbed ahold of him and pulled him up.  Once I got him to the surface, I realized that he was alive.  There was only one difference this time.  He was all grown up!  I would say that he was around 6 or 7 years old. That dream snapped me back to reality.  I awoke in my bed to my little Noah screaming,  but something was different.  I felt a presence out in the hallway.  It was a very loving presence and the hallway seemed to be very bright.  Noah was screaming in a manner that knew something was different with him this time.  My wife brought him back to bed with us where we were able to calm him down and get him back to sleep.  After all of this commotion was over I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest.  Caleb stopped by to tell us that he was okay and we did not need to be sad anymore.  I love when he visits us like that.  Has any of you ever had anything like that happen before?

 
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Posted by on February 2, 2015 in After the Ashes

 

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1 John 2:15-16 NIV

(15)”Do not love the world or anything in the world.  If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.” (16)”For everything in the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – comes not from the Father but from the world.”

 
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Posted by on February 2, 2015 in Daily Inspiration

 

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Togetherness

Good morning Caleb,

 

It is time for another work week.  I can honestly say that I am not excited about it at all.  Ever since I got back from vacation  I have not been very anxious to go back to work out there.  It is filled with people who are in great need of Gods love.  Somehow I feel as if I need to be trying to help some of these lost souls.  Father will you please give strength as I jump back into the rough waters of life.  Grab up my little boy and shine through me so that other people will see you in me and want the same thing.  If you do put me in a situation where I am to help someone, use me as a vessel to bring them close to you so that they may to feel your love.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.

 

Okay, so tell me son how was your day yesterday?  Ours was really good.  Grandma and Grandpa did not have their weekly cook out yesterday, so we spent the day together as a family.  We started out at church.  Then we hit the grocery store up after a quick-lunch.  Mommy’s day kinda went sour.  Her and sissy were to go off to a baby shower.  Once they got their they realized that no on was there.  They were stood up.  It made her pretty upset.  I think that if they were going to change their plans, they could have at least told her.  We bought gifts, her and sissy even took the time to make it look really nice.  Hopefully there is some explanation for it.  We did not let that stop us though.  We had dinner, then set out for a bike ride.  We closed out the day with lying on the floor coloring posters together as a family.  We had a good time.  

 

We did go out to your final resting place yesterday.  We sat there for a few minutes just thinking of you.  It seems as if every time that I go out there all I can seem to picture is the way that you looked in your coffin right before they closed the lid on you.  With that in mind I picture you lying right there underneath my feet.  Just like that.  I cannot seem to stay very long when I do go there.  I can feel you tugging me away every time.  Like you are saying, ” let’s go daddy, I am right here with you.”  “We do not need to be here.”  So I leave and you follow.  It is just awesome how I can feel that.  It is a true feeling.  There is no imagination at play.  It is that very power that gives me strength to lead my family through each day.  That same power allows me to talk about you with no problem.  That is not to say that I do not get sad sometimes though, because I do.  Sissy came to me last night, she was sad.  It seems as if every time that  we are doing something together as a family and I turn on some christian music, it makes her think of you.  Each time this happens I get a big blast of your love.  It flows through me into her.  Soon she is all better and ready to go on.

 

     Well I think that I need to put this letter to an end so that I can finish getting ready for work, if that is what you wanna call it.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake, 

Daddy

To my readers

Thank you for taking the time to stop by here and read these heart warming stories.  I hope that they have touched you in a way that will enable you to go out take charge of your day.  On behalf of Caleb and my family, we love each and every one of you…Jeffrey

 


 
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Posted by on July 18, 2011 in Letters to Caleb

 

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The Short and Narrow Road

Good morning Caleb, 

 

Did you have a good time yesterday?  I know that I sure did.  On a different note.  I felt you in our room last night.  But I do not recall you lying down on the bed with us.  It was almost as if you came in, looked at us, smiled and turned away.  Needless to say, but I knew you were there.  When you do things like that it sends a very reassuring feeling over me that says, “I am here with you daddy.”  Words cannot express how awesome it is to have my very own angel.  I love you son.  

 

Your mother and I came before God yesterday in marriage.  I really have no clue as to where God is leading us, but all I can say is let His will be done.  He has great control over our lives and we will spend the rest of our lives following where He leads us.  This is just another part in His wonderful plan for me.  Why don’t you do me a big favor son.  Go run up to him right now and give him a really big HUG!  Will you do that for me? 

 

When I was 10 years old, I went to this church in a small town not to far from here.  I was there that I received the Lord as my savior.  Now that I look back at the last 20 years I realize that it was there that I decided to get off of the wide road and take the path less traveled.  Ever since then my life has been filled with a flood of different experiences.  With loss being the most prominent.  It seems as if that is what I am here on this Earth for.  Unfortunately, I have become very good in dealing with loss.  I think that your death son was very empowering.  It made me realize how awesome your mother is.  It gave to me a strength that not very many people have.  I will use this gift that was given to me to raise a strong family in God’s name.  Thank you son, that one thing alone makes me love you even more than I already do.

 

Today I take a different stance in life.  I will continue on this rocky path that I have chosen for myself.  In Jesus name, let His will be done.  I am not afraid either.  I see you son standing at the end of this road waiting for me.  When the day finally does come and I reach you.  I will bend down and pick you up and give to you the biggest hug that I have ever given to anyone.  Until then son, I have a family to raise and who knows what else.  I will see you when my job is done.  I hope that you have an awesome day in heaven today.  We are all thinking about you.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake,

Daddy

 

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Posted by on July 17, 2011 in Letters to Caleb

 

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Mixed Emotions

Good morning Caleb, 

     I woke up feeling a little on the downside toady.  It is almost as if I did not get sufficient rest.  But I am sure that after my morning cup of coffee I will feel a little better.  I have been feeling like that here lately.  I don’t know if it is the bed we sleep in or there is some underlying problem.  I need to go to the doctor and see what he says.  

     In a different note today is our big day son, so make sure you dress appropriately.  Your mother and I will finally become one.  We will finally be a blessing in God’s eyes.  Caleb,  I have a few words to say to God right now so will you please excuse me.  God will you please help us to have a very powerful marriage in your name.  I desire for this to last the rest of my life.  You have blessed me with such a beautiful woman both inside and out.  Somehow I do not feel worthy of it.  But I thank you for such a great blessing. In Jesus name I pray.

     I sure am having a hard time making it through this post.  There are a lot of emotions at play right now.  I am happy and sad at the same time.  It is a bit overwhelming, but I will get through this.  It would be really awesome if you could be here to share in this awesome day bubby.  I know that you are in heaven right now smiling down over us.  This is a very happy day for you.  I just know it is.

     Words cannot express how much I miss you today.  If you were here right now your mother and I would have already picked out what you were going to wear.  You sure would have looked very handsome, I can assure you of that one.  Well I am going to go ahead and close this letter for right now son.  I have other things that I must attend to, so I will talk to you later ok.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake,

Daddy

 

To my readers

 

I apologize if you are close to me and you knew nothing of this wedding.  But Holly and I have both agreed that this is to be a very small discreet wedding of really close family members.  Next year we plan on having a bigger version that will involve more people.  Thank you for taking the time to stop by here today.  I hope that in some way I have touched your heart.  On behalf of Caleb and my family.  We love you all….Jeffrey

 

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Posted by on July 16, 2011 in Letters to Caleb

 

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