Tag Archives: God

Thinking of You Again

Dear Caleb, Hey there little man.  How is heaven treating you?  I know, I know, it is silly of me to ask such a crazy question.  You are hanging out with God what can be more awesome than that?  As for us, mommy, your brothers and sister and I are all doing really well.  I have not checked in with you in while but that is because I figured you have a whole lot better things to do then to keep coming back down here to comfort me.  I was talking to a gentleman the other day about you and he gave me some really good insight on letting you go so that you could just enjoy your time in heaven.  I took heed of this advice, so we will see where it leads me. Last night we were at dinner with a friend, we shared your story with them.  Once again it got me thinking of you.  I showed them the picture of you staring up at God during the Easter party the year you died.  I realized then how much I truly still hurt inside because of you being gone.  There will always be a part of my heart that is dedicated to you, and these letters are an extension of my heart. One thing I can rest on though, I know one day I will be in heaven with you and I am gonna give you a super hug, you know like the ones we used to give each other.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake,


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Posted by on February 9, 2015 in Letters to Caleb


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Can You Tell Me Why?


“There is a candle burning brightly for you here son. every night at the dinner table we light it. It helps us to to remember you forever.”

We use symbols to remember the loved ones that has passed before us. Why is it that we do that? That is the million dollar question for the day. Aren’t our memories good enought to honor those that have fallen? I know for myself that it gives me a feeeling of comfort. However, is there a degree of unhealthy to it. The simple fact that instead of moving foward with our lives we attach the past to something and dwell on it. This act never really allows us to process our emotions of letting go.

Consider this a healthy debate. If you have opposite feelings of this please feel frre to comment below. I would love to hear your thoughts.

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Posted by on February 3, 2015 in After the Ashes


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A Little Visit

Dear Caleb,

It has been a very long time since I last wrote to you.  But you know that I have certainly not forgotten about you.  I just wanted to drop by and say hi to you and to tell you that I love you still with my whole heart.  I still miss you deeply, but I have been busy with mommy, sissy and bubby.  We have all built a very good life for ourselves from the blessing that God has given us.  We have been spending our time getting to know the Lord better so that we can have a spot right beside you in Heaven.  I do not know when I will take the time to write to you again.  Just know one thing.  You are always welcome back home to pay us a “little visit.”  Thank you so much for being so understanding sorry to bother you.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake,



Posted by on October 1, 2012 in Letters to Caleb


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A Letter to Mommy

Dear Mommy,

I can see that you are very sad.  Will you please put a smile on your face?  What happened to me is not your fault.  It is not daddy’s fault either.  God has a plan for each and every one of us from the time we are born.  I did what it was I needed to do and it was time for me to go.  I know that you would like to have me back in your arms again, but it is my turn now.  You did such an awesome job loving me, it is my turn to carry you in my arms.  But you see your sadness makes it difficult for me to comfort you.  So please mommy, open up your heart so that you can see that I am right here beside you and daddy.  I never left.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake,



Posted by on March 16, 2012 in Letters From Caleb


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Dear Caleb,

It sure has been a long time since I last wrote to you.  You know, I think that for some strange reason your death has really changed who I am as a person.  I wish I had more to write but I just don’t right now.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake,



Posted by on March 15, 2012 in Letters to Caleb


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A Unique Christmas


2011-12-23 16.44.05






     This has been one of the most unique Christmas’ I have ever in my life have had.  It has been one filled with numerous emotions.  Ranging anywhere from extremely happy, to sad.  From being extremely angry and impatient to kind hearted and loving.  Tears were shed and laughter was heard.  There were feelings of togetherness as we celebrated with our family.  Then there were feelings of great loneliness.  Yet, this year was really calm and organized.  That is very strange for this time of the year.  There was just a peace in the air that was like no other.  I can honestly say that despite the circumstances this was the best Christmas I have ever had in my life. 

     I really feel the presence of the Lord on this day bubby.  It is almost as if he has reached his hand down from heaven and he is gently guiding us along.  There is a story that leads up to these calm and docile feelings that I have.  It all started several days ago when you came to visit me in my dream.  You know the one where I was lying in bed half awake, half asleep.  Suddenly I seen a really bright light come over my eyelids.  It seemed as if it was the morning sun shining in my face.  I remember very vividly, I was in a really bright room.  I sat up and looked around, I noticed a window right behind me.  There was bright sunshine radiating through.  As my eyes came into focus, I saw you looking in the window at me.  You had the biggest smile on your face.  We connected in that dream on a level that I have never connected with you before.  I knew right then and there that you were okay.  I felt a great peace come over me.  It was such a great experience I had to tell mommy.  Later on that day we received a great blessing from the Lord.  I cannot even begin to tell you or even explain the great work the Lord is doing through me. 

     As today grew closer and closer I did not have the feelings of missing you, I knew that you were right here with me.  You are in my heart.  There is a place there for you that you can call home always and forever.  I will hide you there and with the power of God’s love I will go on in this world changing lives one at a time.  Before I close this letter to you, I want to share a poem with you that expresses my love and devotion to God, you, our family and everybody else in this world who needs a shoulder to lean on.


Christmas time has come and passed,

it seems as if another year is gone away so fast.

Before you know it, it will be time to do it all over again,

then another new year will begin.

However there is one thing that will never change,

spending each new year without you and how it feels so strange.

I know that you will always be there in my heart,

nothing in this world will ever break those feelings apart.

What is it that helps me get through all of this you ask,

it is all about God and his great task.

A heavenly mission that was set out for me from day I was born,

one I will carry on with even after being broken, battered and torn.

You see in order for you to see God through me,

I have had to lose things so dear and close to me.

But if that means that you will be in heaven with me someday,

I will lose everything for you just to show you the way.

                             ….Merry Christmas….Jeffrey

     Well that is it bubby, I really hope that you have had an awesome Christmas.  I know that I have.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake,




Posted by on December 25, 2011 in Letters to Caleb


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Helping Hand


     How are you doing this evening?   Today is the end of it.  It will be time to go back to work again.  I am in for a long weekend, but there will be sweet victory on Monday.  Back at home relaxing around the warm glow of my kerosene heater with a hot cup of coffee in my hands.  Wearing my robe whilst staring at a blank computer screen waiting for the Lord to speak with me.

     I had an unusual experience over the past day.  I saw a particular person that was in need of some uplifting.  So I reached out.  In that process I was exposed to such a raw story of the grief she has for her brother.  I mean she really poured it out to me.  In the end, allowing her to do such a thing was what she had needed all along.  I am so glad the Lord led me to do that.  To see someone in such pain, only to see her rise up from the ashes and take another step forward.  I simply love what the blog is starting to accomplish.  If there were another time that this particular person would like to send another email just to vent some more she would be welcome to. 

     Well I think that it is time to shut this down for the evening.  It is time to go to bed so that I can go to work tomorrow.  I will be thinking a lot about you.  I will be waiting for your next appearance.  When you do show up a dull day can suddenly turn bright.  I love having you as my angel.  You will always be my little blessing.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake,




Posted by on December 15, 2011 in Letters to Caleb


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